by N.I.P
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
I was just a child,
Starving, fighting to survive,
A girl forced into womanhood
Before I could even live my own life.
When I first held you in my arms,
I had already borne two more.
Your father—a man of many, yet of none—
Left me trapped in a love I could not restore.
I stayed out of hunger, out of need,
Not for love, but for the children I had to feed.
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
When I came to the States, I breathed my first air of freedom,
Yet within my home, I was still bound.
A mother too young, growing beside the very children
I was expected to raise from the ground.
Three sons, and you—my eldest daughter.
Though you were his, I made you mine.
I did what I knew, the best I could,
Shaping you with hands still unrefined.
I taught you to cook, to clean, to carry grace,
Yet now, I am unwelcome in your space.
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
You speak of success, of wealth, of power,
And say my sacrifices paved your way.
Yet when you gather in bright-lit rooms,
You do not call my name, nor bid me stay.
I see your dinners, your grand affairs,
Yet my chair remains forever bare.
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
Did you mistake me for a fortress,
When I was only a crumbling stone?
Did you think I carried no sorrow,
That my wounds were not my own?
You will never know the battles I fought,
The silent prayers, the nights I wept.
You will never know the love I bore,
Even in moments where I failed and left.
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
I watch you now from a distance,
A stranger to the life you’ve built.
The songs on the radio whisper my past,
Tugging at the weight of guilt.
I wish I knew what I had done,
Wish we could sit and speak as one.
Yon lanmou piti mwen…
Jan mwen renmen w! S’il vous plaît…
Yet if my absence grants you peace,
If my distance lets you be,
Then I will bear this grief in silence,
And watch your light shine without me.
If forgetting me gives you wings,
Then let my memory fade in the wind.
My daughter, my daughter, why do you resent me?
I may never hear the answer,
May never sit beside you again.
But I have given all I had,
And if losing me sets you free—then be free
N.I.P is currently a student at LaGuardia Community College, pursuing a degree in nursing. Known around campus for her sweet, funny, and bubbly personality, she is also a valued member of the Support Services team through her work-study assignment. Beyond her academic and professional roles, N.I.P is a devoted mother and a resilient survivor of many trials and tribulations. Writing has always been a refuge and a passion for her, and she dreams of publishing her poetry and a book that will inspire readers worldwide. With this submission, she is taking the first courageous step toward making that dream a reality.
Photograph: “Alone…..” by Kashif Mariani.
