By Lianna Bonilla
The day’s wind welcomes itself to me. A caressing breeze, softly brushing aside the hair on my face like an old friend saying hello. The rustling leaves moving against the branches were a soothing sound. Everywhere I looked were hues of copper and browns, the vegetation becoming dormant as Fall made its mark. Every step I took released crinkled whispers until I stopped in front of a barren tree. Its branches loomed over a peculiar fountain made at ground level. Small lily pads were scattered on the water’s surface. There were even fishes in the fountain, occasionally pecking the surface before darting around. I sat down on a stone bench nearby.
I never planned to come here again. It started off with a casual stroll nearby. There was a big pond with geese, turtles, and giant shadowed movements of – I don’t even want to guess what is in those waters. But it was as if my feet remembered what I had forgotten- or chose to ignore. The fishes in the fountain look different now. They were dark and blended with the shadows below. The last time I was here, the ones before, were white and bright orange. Then I hear your voice.
It was during the summer when you noticed that one of the little fish laid underneath the bench we were sitting on. I had no idea how it got that far from the water. I didn’t even want to know the answer to that either. But you crouched down and waved me to come closer.
“Poor little guy, doesn’t look alive.” You stated. I frowned and my heart ached. Suddenly you asked, “Should we put him back in the water?” At this point, we were crouching side by side and I looked at you in horror for even suggesting that. “No!” I said, ignoring how close we were now. Brushing over the way you looked at me.
“We should…I don’t know…bury it?” In that moment, you gave me your dazzling smile. Leaving me breathless. There was a gleam in your eyes, as if my awkward answer made you happy.
“Hmm.see, that was a test and you passed.” You dug a hole in the dirt by the bench. Then you grabbed a leaf, lifted the fish, and gently placed him in it. “We should respect all living things, even in death.”
This time the wind blew against my back. My hair whipped around and tickled my nose. I scrunched up my face as I came back to myself. I was sitting in the same spot as we did that day. I felt a twist in my chest and decided it was time for me to leave.
So much has changed. The seasons, the fish, the plants and even myself. I left here as a love-struck teenager and came back as a woman who is still trying to figure out who she is.
It was time for me to move on. A group of people started to come in, eager to explore and blocking the way I came from. I avoid the crowd and take a set of stairs to the next section. I followed the trail and it led me to the hills, elevated at diverse levels. Some had trees scattered or giant rocks that always had a group of kids trying to climb it.
The clouds started to part, and the afternoon sunlight beamed down. I found a spot to lay at for a moment and leaned back as my elbows kept me propped. My eyes closed while the sun’s warmth enveloped my face and for a moment, it felt like you were next to me again.
“Your freckles got darker.” You were laying next to me on your side. We were on your picnic blanket, enjoying a spontaneous break from the city. I opened my eyes to see you peering down at me. “Yea, that usually happens during the summer.” I cupped my cheeks with my hands, feeling insecure and wanting to hide in that moment. “I don’t really like how they look on me.” And without a second thought you gently moved my hands away and said, “They’re beautiful.” I had the biggest smile on my face.
“I’m happy you brought me here.” You pondered for a moment. “I think the garden was my favorite.”
“It is my favorite spot too; I usually come here when I need a moment to just breathe and ground myself.” I fidget with my fingers before I spoke again. “I wouldn’t mind sharing with you…this could be our spot?” You once again gave me that captivating smile before agreeing. “Our spot.”
Clouds covered the sun again and my fave felt cold. I inhaled a deep breath and then let it all out, releasing all the emotions I felt. I looked around. The people here come and go every day. The plants die and grow back. Time continues and change is inevitable, but memories are always present. It was time for me to go home.
I stand and the wind pushes against me. A final goodbye to what was left unsaid. Not to my sanctuary, but to you.
Lianna Bonilla is a student at LaGuardia majoring in English: Creative Writing. She is a mother who enjoys writing fiction in her free time. Aspiring to be a future author, she continues to discover new ways of expressing herself in her stories and hopes that her writing can resonate with and comfort others.
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